562. July 26, St Joachim & St Ann

Meditations no. 493 (unofficial computer-aided translation)

In the home of Joachim and Ann, the Virgin Mary received the training needed to become the Mother of God.

Devotion to the Sacred Humanity of Jesus has led Christians to want to know as much as possible about Christ’s earthly lineage. Although the Gospels do not mention Mary’s parents, who were our Lord’s grandparents according to the flesh, the Church’s Tradition tells us that they were named Joachim and Ann. The veneration already accorded them in the first centuries of Christianity attests to this fact. From the shoot of Jesse rises King David, an ancient Father of the Church teaches, and our Lady was born of the tribe of David, holy and the daughter of saints. Her parents were Joachim and Ann, who were pleasing to God during their lives and gave birth to the Blessed Virgin Mary, who was to be both temple of God and Mother of God. The name Joachim means “preparation for the Lord,” for he was an instrument in preparing the temple of the Lord, the Blessed Virgin. Similarly, the name Ann means “grace.” For Joachim and Ann received the grace to bring forth with prayer a most beautiful offspring.

God chose the home of Joachim and Ann as the place for Mary’s birth, where the divine plan of Redemption would begin to be fulfilled. There Mary learned to pray, and developed all those virtues that were so pleasing to the eyes of the Almighty, and that prepared her to answer God’s call. Blessed Joachim and Ann!, exclaims St John Damascene, all creatures owe you a great debt of gratitude because you offered God the Father the most important gift of all: a most pure Mother, the sole creature worthy of bearing the Creator.

The greatest mission parents can accomplish for their children is to bring them up in holiness, preparing them to become good children of God. Experience shows in all Christian environments what good effects come from this natural and supernatural introduction to the life of piety given in the warmth of the home. Children learn to place God first and foremost in their affections. They learn to see God as their Father and Mary as their Mother and learn to pray following their parents’ example. In this way one can easily see what a wonderful apostolate parents have and how it is their duty to live a fully Christian life of prayer, so they can communicate their love of God to their children, which is something more than just teaching them.

How can they go about this? They have excellent means in the few, short, daily religious practices that have always been lived in Christian families and which I think are marvellous: grace at meals, morning and night prayers, the family rosary (even though nowadays this devotion to our Lady has been criticised by some people)… .

I still pray aloud the bedside prayers I learned as a child from my mother’s lips, and I say so with the pride and gratitude of a son. As I offer to God the day that is beginning, or thank him for the day that is drawing to a close, I ask him to increase in heaven the happiness of those whom I especially love and so unite us there forever.

In a truly Christian home, imbued with a life of piety, the divine grace of a particular vocation takes hold more easily. For this reason, our Father told us that we owe our parents a considerable measure of our vocation to Opus Dei.

The debt of gratitude owed to our parents is best repaid with affection and prayer, and by trying to bring them closer to the Work.

Consider for a moment the immense affection our parents showed us even before we were born. How our mothers took care of us even then! How much human care, both natural and supernatural, we owe them! You should never forget this. But neither should we forget the affection God has shown us, who loves us more than all the mothers in the world love their children, and who chose us with special predilection from all eternity.

Our debt of gratitude to our parents grows daily. Besides the gifts of our life and upbringing, we owe them a large part of our divine vocation, as well as the assistance they continue to give us to be faithful and holy. We owe our faith to God our Lord, but our parents have also contributed a lot, even those who might seem a bit negligent. I have often told parents of members of the Work when they expressed regrets, especially at the beginning, about their children’s vocation: Why do you complain? You are the ones to blame for his vocation! You brought your son up as a good Christian-clean, cheerful, generous. I’m not the one who has given him his vocation. God gave it to him, with your help.

Our parents’ prayer and affection leads us to want to repay them in kind. Our founder has left us his own example. I always count on the affection and prayers of your parents, who are much better than us, he often told us. May God bless them! I pray for them twice a day, for those still alive and for those who are now close to God in purgatory, waiting to go to him. I always count on the prayer of those who are in heaven, that they may intercede for us; and also of those in purgatory, since they love us; and of those still on earth. For we are all united.

Moreover, we try to help our parents share in the great happiness we have found in the Work. Our charity would be disordered if we were to direct our apostolic efforts towards many souls and neglect our families. Justice requires that we seek to bring them closer to Opus Dei. Thus we will fulfil in a refined way the “sweetest precept” of the Decalogue. We must love our parents very much. Otherwise, we don’t have the spirit of Opus Dei. Rely upon your parents. I love them a lot. You should bring them close to the Work, which means bringing them closer to God. Help your parents to love the Work. Let them know that we love them. How can we please God if we abandon the souls of those who have loved us so much on earth and who contributed so much to our vocation, at times without realizing it?

This holy concern of ours should be manifested in specific deeds. We will pray often for them, and write to them regularly, especially when family anniversaries and special events come around. We will keep present their concerns and plans, their needs and hopes. We will help them realize that, although we may be far away, our vocation has strengthened our love for them and made us more united to them than ever.

We often asked our founder how we ought to behave towards our parents. He would tell us: Let them see that you are cheerful, hardworking, self-sacrificing. Then even though, as can also happen at times, it may be difficult for them to understand our way, they will end up saying: this son is the light of our home; he is the joy of everyone, he is concerned about everyone… ! Behave like that, my children.

Fortitude and understanding in relations with our parents.

All over the world, our families cooperate generously in the apostolic activities of the Work. But the reality of our dedication may sometimes be difficult for them to accept. Then the best course of action is to be patient and offer up any misunderstandings to our Lord, to pray and keep working, with the conviction that God’s will always has priority over human considerations and misguided affection.

When children grow up, they seldom stay at home with their parents. They marry and leave their family home. That is a law of life: a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one (Mk 10: 7-8). Therefore, if your parents ever say that you have left them, you can ask them: And didn’t you leave your own parents? Didn’t you fall in love with one another and begin our family? Well, I have fallen in love with Jesus Christ. And you can add with a smile: you actually come out ahead, since there’s no mother-in-law to worry about.

Parental complaints of this sort stem from being overly sentimental, a situation that deserves understanding and affection but that must be kept in check. Otherwise, it could become unhealthy. Sometimes parents seem to want their children to remain youngsters all their lives. Isn’t it right and reasonable for parents to be happy when their children mature, when their personality blossoms, when they attain happiness and independence?

When a child grows up, parents have no right to impose anything. To do so would be an abuse. They don’t have the right to dictate our path in life. They can advise, pray… and then leave us in peace. Parents certainly have wonderful rights, but they also have corresponding duties, which are equally wonderful. If they try to control the lives of their grown up children, they violate these duties. It is contrary to human dignity, a carry-over from feudalism.

All men and women are born to be free. Initially we need our parents’ constant help and assistance, even in the most elementary things. Later on, as fruit of the love and upbringing they have given us, we have the duty to choose for ourselves, all the more so if it is a matter of responding freely to God’s call.

But my experience in Opus Dei, our founder assured us, is very positive. I often tell members of the Work that they owe ninety per cent of their vocation to their parents because they have known how to educate their children and have taught them to be generous. I can assure you that in the vast majority of cases, practically in all, the parents respect and love their children’s decision. They immediately see the Work as an extension of their own family.

We ask St Joachim and St Ann to intercede with our Lady for us, so that our families always savour the joy that filled their home. Using words from today’s liturgy we tell them: Contemplate the fruit you have borne, since Christ once said that “by their fruit you will know them.” Your lives were such that the fruit you bore was most pleasing to God.