442. Thirty-first Monday of Ordinary Time

Meditations no. 390 (unofficial computer-aided translation)

Humility helps us to realize what can displease others in our behaviour, and to try to change it.

St Paul writes to the Philippians: Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. This is the way we should practise fraternity in the Work. At the foundation of our dealings with others we should place humility.

From the outset of our vocation, we have felt the joy of belonging to our wonderful supernatural family. This happiness is a big part of the hundredfold our Lord promised those who leave behind house, brothers or sisters, father or mother to follow him. Nevertheless, small irritations may sometimes arise. Our Father warned us:

You have clashes of character with other people… That kind of thing is inevitable: you’re not a gold coin that everyone likes. Besides, without those clashes produced by your contact with your neighbour, how would you lose the rough edges and jagged points - the imperfections and defects - of your temper, so as to acquire the regular, polished and firmly gentle form of charity, of perfection?

If your character and the characters of those who live with you were soft and sweet like meringues, you would not become a saint.

If we are humble, if we recognize our defects and struggle to uproot them, we will contribute to the climate our Father wants for our centres, a climate built on charity. This environment in our centres helps us to practise the Christian virtues and to be in a position to work and develop our human personality with dignity and calm. Our houses are as simple as the home in Nazareth that witnessed the hidden life of Jesus. They have the human and divine warmth of the home in Bethany which our Lord sanctified, seeking there true friendship, intimacy and understanding.

Always be very human, my children. To be very spiritual, very supernatural, we need to be very human and strive to have a deeply human grasp of life. God our Lord does not build on the disorder of an inhuman life. We have to understand others, to get along with them and forgive them, never being scandalized by anything or anyone: because this will encourage your brothers or sisters and make it easy for them to seek out your help.

Therefore, our Father advises, ask God boldly for this treasure, for the supernatural virtue of charity, so that you may practise it even in the smallest details.

Forgetting ourselves to make life pleasanter for those around us.

The humble man, St John Chrysostom says, is useful both to himself and to others. He can forget about himself and serve those around him, watching out for their happiness and rest.

Throughout the day there are countless opportunities of making the way to holiness pleasanter for those around us. We should strive to cultivate the details of attentiveness that stem from deeply-felt love and make family life a foretaste of heaven. Each small detail of our personal appearance, caring for the house, preparing meals, helping someone to relax - all done quite naturally - is so important. And our Father said in 1956: over the past twenty-eight years there’s been an unbroken tradition in the Work: we are willing do whatever necessary, even sing and dance, to bring joy to our brothers or sisters. No one has ever said they don’t know how to or can’t.

We need to be humble to give ourselves to the others in this way. Humility means that we never feel humiliated before the others. Nor will we seek to stand out or be admired, which would harm the human and supernatural affection we should have for one another as children of God in the Work. St John Chrysostom writes: “What is it you fear?” our Lord seems to ask you. “Being humiliated? Look at me. Consider my example, and then you will clearly see the greatness of humility.”

Humble people are satisfied with little. They don’t consider themselves worth much attention, nor are they prone to feeling slighted. Our Father advised us: Don’t be so… touchy. -You’re hurt by the slightest thing. -One has to weigh one’s words before speaking to you even about quite insignificant matters.

Don’t be annoyed if I tell you that you are… unbearable. -Unless you correct your behaviour, you will never be useful.

If we are humble, we learn how to behave without hurting anyone. We won’t think about our rights but rather about our duties towards our brothers or sisters. Thus many useless worries are dispelled, and above all, we discover the true joy of generous dedication. Our

Founder wrote: It has cost you a lot to begin getting rid of those niggling worries and forgetting about those personal things you were looking forward to. They may have been few and not very splendid, but they were deeply rooted. In exchange, you are sure now that you are interested and concerned about your brothers, and only about them, for you have learned to discover Jesus Christ in your neighbour.

Sincere affection for the others overcomes character differences.

Only sincere affection engenders authentic and deep understanding for other people’s shortcomings. Only charity enables us to rise above character differences and smooth over possible frictions. We need a big heart and a lot of understanding, in order to respect and love the others, not judging them rashly but respecting each of them as they are, even though they may not share our opinion or point of view. We need a big heart to love all men and women with their shortcomings and ways of being. Don’t forget that sometimes we have to help souls go ahead little by little, patiently encouraging them to advance.

At times this can be an uphill effort. Therefore to make the way easier for us, it was the Lord who took the initiative by coming out to meet us … so that we might join him in serving others, generously placing our hearts on the floor, as I am fond of saying, as a soft carpet for others to tread on, so that they find their struggle more pleasant. This is how we should act, because we have been made children of the same Father, that Father who did not hesitate to give us his dearly beloved Son.

Loving each of the others as they are, with their defects, requires humility. We’ll be well aware of their defects, and we shall try to love them, provided they’re not an offence against God. We’ll notice their virtues too, and give thanks to God who wants to be imitated in so many different ways. Far from being a hindrance, our diversity should be a reason for joy, as one more sign of how great our God is.

As our Founder said: by examining our conscience and opening our hearts, we come to know the beauty of God and our own wretchedness. In the words of St Augustine: Noverim te, noverim me; may I know you, Lord, and know myself. When we’ve come to see the beauty of our God, and our own mistakes and follies, then it’s easier to see other people’s good qualities.

We have a duty to be understanding, to be forgiving. We have a duty to live together in harmony with all souls, especially with those at our side.

Then our family life will savour of charity and the warmth of a home. Many years ago, our Father wrote in Rome: I don’t know why, but once again, and with greater reflection, my eyes went to a piece of furniture in the room where I am writing. It has four little donkeys on it, trotting… The set, from Spain, was given to me as a Christmas gift. Occasionally I amuse myself with them, making them go here and there, changing their direction. But it never occurs to me to separate them. The four of them go close together, as brothers, steadily bearing their considerable loads. Four little donkeys: what a marvellous symbol of humility, fraternity and unity!

We can finish our prayer by turning to our Lady. She who won such a rich reward for her humility and called herself the handmaid of the Lord, will teach us to serve our brothers or sisters with ever-greater attentiveness.