371. Twenty-third Tuesday of Ordinary Time
Meditations no. 335 (unofficial computer-aided translation)
The Apostles had shortcomings, but allowed grace to work in them.
St Luke tells us that Jesus went out into the hills to pray; and all night he continued in prayer to God. And when it was day, he called his disciples, and chose from them twelve, whom he named apostles.
The calling of the twelve Apostles recounted in the Gospel of todayâs Mass invites us to consider our apostolic vocation once again. Letâs meditate on it slowly, asking those holy witnesses of our Lord to help us follow Christ as they did.
When our Lord called the first twelve, they had many shortcomings; but by responding to grace they were able to overcome them, little by little. In one of his homilies, our Father invites us to consider this fact so that we too may take courage to fight against our defects.
The first Apostles, for whom I have great affection and devotion, were nothing to boast about, humanly speaking. With the exception of Matthew, who probably earned a comfortable living which he left behind at the behest of Jesus, the Apostles were mere fishermen. They lived a meagre existence, fishing all night to keep food on the table.
But social status is unimportant. They werenât educated; they werenât even very bright, if we judge from their reaction to supernatural things. Finding even the most elementary examples and comparisons beyond their reach, they would turn to the Master and ask: Domine, edissere nobis parabolam, âExplain the parable to us.â When Jesus uses the image of the âleavenâ of the Pharisees, they think that heâs reproaching them for not having purchased bread.
They were poor; they were ignorant. They werenât very simple or open. But they were even ambitious. Frequently they argued over who would be the greatest when - according to their understanding - Christ would definitively restore the kingdom of Israel. Amid the intimacy of the Last Supper, during that sublime moment when Jesus is about to immolate himself for all of humanity, we find them arguing heatedly.
Faith? They had little. Jesus Christ himself points this out. They had seen the dead raised, all kinds of sicknesses cured, bread and fish multiplied, storms calmed, devils cast out. Chosen as the head, St Peter is the only one who reacts quickly: You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. But it is a faith beset by limitations âŚ
And did these men of little faith at least stand out in their love for Christ? Undoubtedly they loved him, at least in word. At times they were swept away by enthusiasm: Let us go also, that we may die with him. But at the moment of truth, they all fled, except for John who truly loved with deeds. Only this adolescent, youngest of the Apostles, can be found next to the Cross. The others didnât find within themselves that love as strong as death.
These were the disciples called by our Lord. Such stuff is what Christ chose. And they remain just like that until they are filled with the Holy Spirit and thus become pillars of the Church. They are ordinary men, complete with defects and shortcomings, more eager to say than to do. Nevertheless, Jesus calls them to be fishers of men, co-redeemers, dispensers of the grace of God.
Humility to see that all effectiveness comes from God.
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide. Christ, fully aware of our shortcomings, also called us to his Work. With little effort, our Father continued, we could find among our family, friends and acquaintances - not to mention the crowds of the world - so many worthier people that Christ could have called. Yes, people who are simpler and wiser, more influential and important, more grateful and generous.
In thinking along these lines, I feel embarrassed. But I also realize that human logic cannot possibly explain the world of grace. God usually seeks out deficient instruments so that the work can more clearly be seen to be his.
How reassuring it is to know that it is God, and not our own poor strength, that enables us to do our work for souls! This demands a great deal of humility from us, so that we donât place obstacles in the way of grace. Before God called us there was nothing more than personal wretchedness. Let us realize that the lights shining in our soul (faith), the love wherewith we love (charity), and the desire sustaining us (hope), are all Godâs free gifts. Were we not to grow in humility, we would soon lose sight of the reason for our having been chosen by God: ut essemus sancti (that we should be holy) - personal sanctity.
If we are humble, we can understand all the marvel of our divine vocation. The hand of Christ has snatched us from a wheat field; the sower squeezes the handful of wheat in his wounded palm. The blood of Christ bathes the seed, soaking it. Then the Lord tosses the wheat to the winds, so that in dying it becomes life and in sinking into the ground it multiplies.
This calls for responsibility on our part, since we are not inert instruments, but intelligent and free beings who need to use our mind, heart and will: The instruments mustnât be left to grow rusty. While we have to be eager to improve, to deepen our formation, we can never forget that ours is a supernatural endeavour which goes forward only under Godâs almighty hand. This consideration should fill us with confidence, especially when we feel incapable of carrying out a task or overcoming an obstacle.
Seeing our own shortcomings is already a grace from God; it helps us grasp more clearly our need to be docile in Godâs hands. And since we want to be good instruments, the smaller and the more wretched we see ourselves to be, with true humility, the more our Lord will make up for all we lack. We are convinced that the light and warmth that attract souls come as a result of our managing, despite our personal mistakes, to reflect the spirit God has given to the Work. Therefore, we have to work away, in spite of our shortcomings and errors, trying to overcome them little by little by our interior struggle.
Closely united to God by responding to grace and by obeying.
Give ear, O my people, to my teaching, the Lord tells us through the Psalmist. Sometimes we try to make progress by ourselves, failing to acknowledge that all our power and ability come from God. But to be fruitful, we need to be humble and stay very close to our Lord. Without humility, our Founder taught, we can never serve effectively, because we will not feel the need to abandon ourselves trustingly to the action of grace; we will not have the continual impulse to approach God as our only strength. And we will not win the graces that God has in store for us.
We have to be united to our Lord in the Eucharist and prayer. By grace, God is in the centre of your soul and mine. And heâs there for a purpose: so that we may have more salt and may acquire a lot of light and a lot of grace, and may be able to pass on those gifts of God, each one of us from the place he is in. And how can we pass on those gifts of God? ⌠By humility, by piety, by union. Do you remember the vine and the branches? How fruitful the branch united to the vine! What abundant clusters of grapes! But how barren the branch that has been cut off! It shrivels up and dies, and what little fruit remains is eaten by maggots.
Union with Christ is also achieved by obedience. How could we be good instruments without obeying Godâs will? Obey, our Father wrote, as an instrument obeys in the hands of the artist - it doesnât stop to consider why itâs doing this or that - knowing for sure that you will never be told to do anything that is not good and to give all the glory to God. We put all our powers of intellect and will into doing what is asked of us. And those in charge are the ones who need to practise the holy virtue of obedience with even greater faithfulness, because, in the first place, they have to identify themselves with their own immediate Directors; and moreover they have to comply always with the spirit and Norms of the Work. All our efforts to be good instruments have as their purpose and justification our desire to fulfil Godâs will.
Therefore, we need humility, my children, our Father insists. Count on Godâs blessings, your own goodwill, your plans for work, and your difficulties, but donât forget that among those difficulties you must always include your own lack of holiness and mine. Weâll be good instruments if weâre better each day.
In that way, united to Christ by our ascetic struggle and our obedience, and sustained by humility, which means being sustained by God, weâll carry out the work entrusted to us in spite of our mistakes. Precisely because of our mistakes and shortcomings, we will realize how close we need to stay to our Lord. Then weâll be good instruments in Godâs hands: weâll be apostles.
Let us turn our eyes to our Blessed Lady. She, who was conscious of her lowliness, cooperated so completely with God that she was full of grace. It is from her hands that we all receive the grace of salvation.