222. Sixth Saturday of Ordinary Time

Meditations no. 97 (unofficial computer-aided translation)

Always fulfilling the Norms, even when we don’t feel any enthusiasm.

At the summit of Mount Tabor, Peter, James and John witnessed the glory of Christ: And he was transfigured before them, St Mark writes, and his garments became glistening, intensely white, as no fuller on earth could bleach them. And there appeared to them Elijah with Moses; and they were talking to Jesus. So overjoyed were they that Peter said to Jesus, “Master, it is well that we are here.”

Being in the company of Jesus is always a source of happiness for anyone with interior life. But our Lord doesn’t always fill his friends with emotions of great joy as he did on Mount Tabor. He is always accompanying us, but he does so in different ways, some more obvious than others. Sometimes we don’t see him as clearly as we would like, and it is possible that the Norms of piety, the mortifications, and the countless acts of love that we previously performed so willingly, become less easy or less pleasant to fulfil.

If God allows us to go through this sort of experience, we can draw a lot from meditating on these words of our Father: My child, you might tell me at some point that you are tired and cold when you do the Norms; that it seems as though you are play-acting. Your play-acting is a great thing, my child God plays with us as a father plays with his children. God is eternal, and before him you and I are like tiny children. Ludens in orbe terrarum (rejoicing in his inhabited world), we are playing before God our Father, and God plays with us as fathers play with their children.

If the thought ever passes through our minds, in the face of effort or dryness, that we are “play-acting”, our reaction should be to think that the wonderful moment has come to perform a human play for a divine spectator. God is the spectator: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit: the Blessed Trinity. And together with God our Lord, the Mother of God and the angels and saints will also be watching us.

We cannot abandon our life of piety, our life of sacrifice and love. When we act out a play for God, for love of him, trying to please him; when we “go against the grain”; when we feel we are playing the role of a jester: let’s think that we are jesters for God. It’s a beautiful thing - never doubt it - to perform a play for Love, sacrificing ourselves, without any personal reward, simply to please God who is playing with us. Live by love, without seeking earthly consolations or wretched little ways of being unfaithful. You should feel proud and well rewarded by this thought alone: that you are succeeding in turning ordinary prose into heroic verse.

Trusting God, who is always at our side.

In the first stages of our encounter with God in the Work, it might seem to us we are making great progress. Later on, it could appear that we’ve been wasting our time, and that we’re going backwards. Neither of these two conclusions is usually correct. As a sign of his desire to draw us to his perfect love, God normally makes things easy for us at the beginning by giving us consolations; while later on, he gives us his grace to enable to see areas of the soul that are still dirty and need cleaning. But this shouldn’t lead us to conclude that we are going backwards or walking sideways like crabs, because that would be false.

Gold is tested in the fire, and acceptable men in the furnace of humiliation. Difficulties and tiredness should not cause us alarm, or make us in any way unhappy. In all these situations we should see the loving hand of God. When adversity comes, our Father says, be certain that it is a proof of God’s fatherly love for us. Always have confidence!

Because you were acceptable to God, it was necessary that temptation should prove you. Never forget that Christ is our model. Although he is God, he let himself be tempted so that we might take heart, and so that through him we might be certain of victory. If you feel trepidation, then turn to your God and tell him: Have pity on me, O Lord, for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my body is in terror; my soul, too, is utterly terrified. And he will say to you: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine.

It may sometimes seem that our Lord has left us, but in reality he is always at our side. It may seem that he is hiding, but it is so that we go in search of him, because he wants us to get close to him and ask him for things. Christ is always alongside us as we make our way along this divine road. He is our hope. What have we to fear? All the things that make you suffer now, will later seem like God’s brush-strokes, contrasts of light and shade that throw into greater relief the supernatural beauty of our Work.

The way to overcome the danger of discouragement is to abandon ourselves in God’s hands.

Love means deeds. He who has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me; and he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him. Although God sometimes gives us his grace to understand his unsearchable judgements, which are truly sweeter than honey and the honeycomb, that is not normally the case. We carry out our obligations, not because they are pleasing, but because we are bound to do so. We don’t work simply because we like what we do, but because God wants it, and so we work willingly. The sweet love that makes the soul happy is based on suffering, on the joy of going against our inclinations in order to serve God and his holy Church.

There is, however, a constant danger to be avoided, namely, the discouragement that stems not so much from external difficulties as from pride. We all make mistakes, even in areas where we have been fighting for years and years. If our ascetical struggle disheartens us, then we are proud…

If we were to love ourselves excessively, then there would be every reason to be sad, on seeing all our failures and meanness. Such wretchedness might well sadden and discourage us. But if we love God above all things, and if we love others, and ourselves, in God and for God, then we have great cause for rejoicing!

If ever you feel crestfallen on experiencing your own wretchedness, perhaps in a particularly vivid way, then is the moment to be completely docile and abandon yourself totally into God’s hands. There is the story of a beggar who came up to Alexander the Great and asked him for alms. Alexander stopped, and commanded the man to be made ruler over five cities. The poor man, overwhelmed and bewildered, exclaimed: “But I didn’t ask for so much!” And Alexander replied: “You asked according to what you are; I am giving according to what I am.”

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to my voice in supplication. If you, O Lord, mark iniquities, Lord, who can stand? But with you is forgiveness, that you may be revered. I trust in the Lord; my soul trusts in his word. My soul waits for the Lord more than sentinels wait for the dawn. More than sentinels wait for the dawn, let Israel wait for the Lord, for with the Lord is kindness and with him is plenteous redemption; and he will redeem Israel from all their iniquities.

Whether we realize it or not, our Lord is always at our side, through thick and thin, so long as we don’t cast him out on purpose. But if we want to experience his presence more intimately, let us invoke our Lady the Virgin. May that good Mother of ours, who is so powerful before her Son, remember us: Monstra te esse matrem! Show that you are our mother!