212. Fifth Friday of Ordinary Time

Meditations no. 89 (unofficial computer-aided translation)

The reality of sin, rather than daunting us, should spur us on to fight.

Not long ago we were meditating on the mystery of our Lord’s Incarnation. More recently, our consideration of some of Jesus’ great miracles has helped strengthen our faith in his divinity. Now we direct our attention to the reasons why the Son of God came to this earth. This takes us back to the first temptation and the first sin.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any other wild creature that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree of the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, and he ate.

This is an opportunity for us to reflect once more on the reality of sin and its malice. Don’t forget, my child, that for you on earth there is but one evil, which you must fear and avoid with God’s grace: sin. We pause to acknowledge how wretched we are, how much in need; and from the depths of our soul there rise up the words of the Psalm: Have mercy on me, O God, according to thy steadfast love; according to thy abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.

As our Father tells us, Don’t be ashamed to discover the fomes peccati (the “tinder of sin”) in your heart. Don’t be cowardly. Be truly faithful; be sincere! There will always be mistakes in your life; no one is free from them.

God, who is all-powerful and merciful, has given us all the necessary means for making good our mistakes. All we have to do is use them, and keep using them, always ready to start again, and never becoming demoralized. Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.

What really matters is that we should have interior life.

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered … I acknowledged my sin to thee, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; then thou didst forgive the guilt of my sin. We shouldn’t be shocked at discovering so many personal failings in ourselves; Jesus is always ready to offer us his grace, his help, his forgiveness. A Christian is not a neurotic collector of good behaviour reports. All God asks of us is a real determination to be saints and to serve him; that is what really matters. You tell me that in your breast you have fire and water, cold and heat, empty passions and God… one candle lit to St Michael and another to the devil.

Don’t worry: as long as you want to fight there are not two candles burning in your breast. There is only one: the Archangel’s.

But if we failed to fight, we wouldn’t be able to stay calm; nor could we please God or benefit from his help. Christ, who is our peace, is also the way. If we seek peace we have to follow his footsteps. Peace is a consequence of war, of struggle, of the intimate ascetical struggle each Christian must keep up against everything in his life which does not belong to God. He is called to overcome pride, sensuality, selfishness, superficiality and meanness of heart. It is useless to call for exterior calm if there is no calm in men’s consciences, in the centre of their souls, for from the heart come evil intentions: murder, adultery, fornication, theft, perjury, slander.

A person who doesn’t want to do anything, and is just apathetic, is in a bad way, our Father has told us. He should at least want to do something. And if he doesn’t, he should “want to want to”: that in itself is already something. At least it would help him not to resist God’s grace. In the Scriptures God laments that my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would have none of me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts, to follow their own counsels. O that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways! I would soon subdue their enemies, and turn my hand against their foes.

Since God knows the clay we are made of, what he asks us for is not so much victories as struggle. He has called us to work in his vineyard, like the hired men in the parable, and he doesn’t allow anyone to remain idle. In the end it will be God himself who grants the victory and gives the reward. The important thing is to get to heaven; otherwise, nothing whatsoever is worthwhile. To get to heaven, we must be faithful. And to be faithful, what we must do is to struggle, to keep forging ahead, even though we may at times stumble and fall.

Hope and optimism in the ascetical struggle.

Along the road of our personal sanctification, our Father has told us, we may at times get the impression that instead of making progress we are losing ground; that instead of improving we are getting worse. But I assure you that, so long as there is interior life, such a pessimistic thought is false; it’s a deception we ought to reject. What is happening is that our soul is becoming more sensitive, our conscience more refined, and our love more demanding on itself. Or it may be that external circumstances bring to light certain defects that previously lay hidden. Whatever the case, we should see this self-knowledge as a light from God, as divine grace that spurs us on to greater humility or to more rapid progress.

As long as we fight tenaciously, we are going in the right direction and sanctifying ourselves. Let us renew our resolution not to slacken off in the struggle. We want to keep giving ourselves, with more and more hope, with more and more optimism. And we are sure that, if we ever do suffer a defeat, even a major one, we can overcome it provided we turn to God with confidence: Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.

Interior life, struggle, victories, defeats that are really victories - even in the short run; getting to know God, who is hope, who is faith, who is love. After a defeat, after a victory: Lord, I rest in you… Deus meus et omnia, my God and my all… and all those aspirations you have heard me say, and which you can use yourselves. Let us ask God now, on behalf of ourselves and the other members of the Work, to help us never to lose our optimism, even in the most trying moments. Let me not be put to shame, O Lord, for I call on you.

Our Mother Mary has prepared the path for us. She will also help us as we make our way along it. She will be there to protect us, to pick us up if we should fall, to give us new enthusiasm, and to set us on our way once again.