146. Fifth Sunday of Easter

Meditations no. 192 (unofficial computer-aided translation)

Our family spirit is based on supernatural love.

Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvellous deeds; he has revealed to the nations his saving power, alleluia. Ever since Easter Sunday, the Church has been urging us to sing of God’s glory and power: In the midst of the congregation I will praise you, O Lord. Ring out your joy to the Lord, O you just; for praise is fitting for loyal hearts.

This song of praise is also a hymn of thanksgiving, since everything we possess is a generous gift from God. How many reasons we have for thanking him! And how our words fall short, as we contemplate and marvel over all that God has done for us! First he gave us the grace of faith; then our divine vocation, which brings us such joy; and with it, fraternal charity and the warmth of a home to make the path to holiness easier, simpler and pleasanter. My children, all of us who belong to Opus Dei form one single home. The reason for this is not the material fact of living together under one roof. Like the first Christians, we are cor unum et anima una, of one heart and soul, and nobody in the Work can ever feel the bitterness of indifference.

Charity, supernatural love, is the basis of our life together. St John Chrysostom says that relations on a purely human level, not based on charity, cannot be either ardent or constant. If an act of neglect, or harm, or vainglory, or envy, or other things of that nature, were sufficient to break a friendship, it would be because that friendship did not have a supernatural basis. Our Father has told us: Piety - piety - piety. If you act uncharitably, it will be because you lack interior life, and not because you have an awkward character.

St John admonishes us time and again not to love in word or speech but in deed and in truth. And he adds that by this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our hearts before God. The only possible peace is that which comes from fraternal love. That is why our Father often repeated: Love each other with supernatural and effective love. Put God into all your affections, above any other loves. He also said: The more you love one another with holy affection, the more you will love the Work.

Love is expressed in attentive courtesy, not familiarity or favouritism.

I want you to be gentle and well-mannered! Among yourselves you ought not to be rough but well-mannered, which does not mean affected, our Father used to say.

Fraternal charity shows on the human level in politeness and attention, which is the crowning glory of fraternity. Accordingly we are not surprised to find this piece of advice in Sacred Scripture: Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer everyone. Likewise, the Letter of St James recommends: Be quick to hear, slow to speak.

Bad manners and rudeness usually indicate an absence of spiritual refinement or of quality in love; so too does familiarity, which harms our family relationships. Don’t be afraid to show your affection for one other, but without familiarity. Over-familiarity can never be the expression of sincere, unselfish affection.

Our Father tells us: Cultivate the art of being pleasant. Treat other people politely, and avoid any arrogance. Be generous. Never be an icy model that others can admire but not love. Have God’s grace and a sense of humour; and a smile that is sincere, clear and open, even though at times it cannot hide many human disappointments. Practising charity with courtesy will often mean that we have to check our moods, and overcome personal affinities which could lead to favouritism, the formation of cliques and particular friendships. We have to be pleasant and warm towards everybody. Our Father insists: Love one another, without doing anything peculiar, which only silly people who were not properly formed would do.

Let us be charitable towards everybody, without exception. Our charity needs to be sensitive, pleasant, attentive and courteous. This is the point behind the question in the Circle: Have I taken special care to practise charity in my relations with my brothers or sisters?

We have to be a soft carpet for others to tread on, through simple, self-effacing charity.

You fulfil a demanding plan of life: you rise early, you pray, you frequent the sacraments, you work or study a lot, you are sober and mortified, but you are aware that something is missing.

Consider this in your conversation with God: since holiness, or the struggle to achieve it, is the fullness of charity, you must look again at your love of God and your love of others for his sake. Then you may discover, hidden in your soul, great defects that you have not even been fighting against. You may not be a good son, a good brother, a good companion, a good friend, a good colleague. And, if you love your “holiness” in a disordered manner, you are envious.

You sacrifice yourself in many small personal details, and so you are attached to yourself, to your own person. Deep down you do not live for God or for others, but only for yourself.

Our Father emphasized how our dedication to others, and particularly to our brothers or sisters in the Work, has to be. He used a vivid expression, telling us that we have to be like a rug or a carpet. He explained: When I tell you that you have to be like a soft carpet for others to walk on, it’s not just a nice turn of phrase.

It must be a fact. It’s difficult, just as holiness is difficult; but at the same time it’s easy, because holiness is within everyone’s reach.

That is how we should behave towards other people. Our charity should be inconspicuous, gently welcoming, lovable; it must patiently adapt itself to other people’s likes. Our charity must never reject others, even though sometimes we may feel uncomfortable, wounded or worried.

Attentively, and with a smile on your lips, help your brothers or sisters in such a way that they don’t even notice it and so can’t thank you for it. Our courtesy towards others, our smile and friendliness, will help them forget their worries and enjoy being at home, feeling gently impelled towards holiness by true affection. This affection is not ostentatious and is only noticed when it is absent; yet it is always filled with a supernatural content.

Like this we will keep our serenity and help others keep theirs. We will help them to desire holiness for themselves and other people. Then we will have the strength of playing cards which cannot stand on their own, but when they lean on each other for support, form a house of cards that stands up quite well.

Let us turn to our Lady. Her motherly presence in our Centres is a source of attentiveness and affection. She will teach us to practise charity with the necessary supernatural and human depth, to please her Son. You will become a saint if you practise charity and if you know how to do things the others like, even if you find them difficult.