71. First Monday of Lent
Meditations no. 117 (unofficial computer-aided translation)
In order to become saints we must perform deeds of love every day.
In the Gospel, our Lord tells us of his coming at the end of time. When the Son of Man comes in his glory and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and all will be judged according to their own works. Then both angels and men will see clearly the moral worth of each person, and the love that motivated them throughout their life. We await this moment of truth with our trust set on Jesus Christ our Saviour. For as we say every day in the Preces, the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our ruler, the Lord is our king; he will save us.
Referring to that moment, our Father asks us: Does your soul not burn with the desire to make your Father God happy when he has to judge you? We yearn for it so much that we want to use the days our Lord gives us for pleasing God alone.
However, in our search for holiness we cannot rest content with good intentions. Jesus rewards us for love shown in deeds, not for ineffectual good intentions. When he says, Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world, he gives as his reason the performance of very specific deeds, small ones perhaps, but deeds done out of love. As you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.
Every day we must strive to perform deeds of love, because every day we can and should come closer to our Lord. Since our first conscious decision really to follow the teaching of Christ, we have no doubt made good progress along the way of faithfulness to his word. And yet isnât it true that there is still much to be done? Isnât it true, particularly, that there is still so much pride in us? We need, most probably, to change again, to be more loyal and humble, so that we become less selfish and let Christ grow in us, for illum oportet crescere, me autem minui, he must become more and more, I must become less and less.
We cannot stay still. We must keep going ahead toward the goal St Paul marks out: It is not I who live, it is Christ that lives in me. This is a high and very noble ambition, this identification with Christ, this holiness. But there is no other way if we are to be consistent with the divine life God has sown in our souls in baptism. To advance we must progress in holiness. Shying away from holiness implies refusing our Christian life its natural growth. The fire of Godâs love needs to be fed. It must grow each day, gathering strength in our soul; and a fire is maintained by burning more things. If we donât feed it, it may die.
Remember what St Augustine said: If you say âenoughâ, you are lost. Go further, keep going. Donât stay in the same place, donât go back, donât go off the road.
We have to examine our conscience daily to increase the love of God in our deeds.
Our struggle to be worthy of the Lordâs blessing must not be vague and indeterminate. We have to know ourselves thoroughly. We need a clear awareness of our personal weaknesses, our besetting sins, in order to tackle them effectively and so improve. St Basil gives the following advice: Examine in yourself what you are. Do everything possible to know yourself.
Although we try to keep close to Jesus Christ throughout the day, and want to seek our Lord in all our actions, we often fail. We all need to be aware of our lack of objectivity whenever we judge our own conduct. You too. In our examination of conscience, we discover faults and omissions in fulfilling our commitment of love. We see that we are still not humble enough, that our heart is attached to created things, that our apostolic zeal is still imperfect. Why is this so? What is the reason for so much carelessness?
The prudence that comes of being Godâs children will teach us to be continuously watchful, and to give due importance to small difficulties. Otherwise this smooth and straight road will become tortuous, and what at first was trivial will end up strangling you like a noose. Do not imagine that those who are lost fall victims of a sudden failure. No, each went astray at the outset or neglected his soul for a long spell, so that the firmness of his virtues was gradually undermined while his vices grew little by little, and so he came to a wretched downfall ⌠A house does not fall down suddenly by some unforeseen accident. There was either something wrong with its very foundations, or the neglect of those dwelling in it was so prolonged that what at first were tiny defects ended up corroding the firmness of the structure, and so when storms came or torrential rains fell the house tumbled inevitably, and in so doing brought to light the years of neglect.
Through the examination of conscience we get to know ourselves as we are, as sinners. Then we will be able to decide on the human and supernatural means we need to use in order to improve. When you know yourself, you will be able to know God and to detach your soul from creatures as is fitting.
We cannot leave the acquisition of this self-knowledge for some unspecified time in the future. It is urgent hodie, nunc, today and now. On it depends our making the best use of the time our Lord gives us. We cannot forget that we know neither the day nor the hour when we will have to render an account to God. If we wish to stand at Jesus Christâs right hand on that day, we need to fight now.
We must decide. Itâs wrong to have two candles lighted - one to St Michael and another to the devil. We must snuff out the devilâs candle: we must spend our life completely in the service of the Lord. If our desire for holiness is sincere, if we are docile enough to place ourselves in Godâs hands, everything will go well. For he is always ready to give us his grace, especially at a time like this - grace for a new conversion, a step forward in our lives as Christians.
We cannot regard this Lent as just another liturgical season which has simply happened to come around again. It is a unique time: a divine aid which we should accept. Jesus is passing by and he hopes that we will take a great step forward - today, now.
The examination of conscience results in very definite resolutions.
Qui habitat in adiutorio Altissimi, in protectione Dei coeli commorabitur; he that dwells in the aid of the Most High shall abide under the protection of the God of heaven. This is the risky security of the Christian. We must be convinced that God hears us, that he is concerned about us. If we are, we will feel completely at peace. But living with God is indeed a risky business, for he will not share things: he wants everything. And if we move toward him, it means we must be ready for a new conversion, to take new bearings, to listen more attentively to his inspirations -those holy desires that he provokes in every soul - and to put them into practice.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts. Through the examination of conscience, we see that we are so covered with mud, so wretched, that we will spontaneously admit our wretchedness. Along with this sorrow born of love will come gratitude, because our Lord is always merciful.
How right that priest was when he preached, âJesus has forgiven me the great multitude of my sins in spite of my ingratitude. How generous he is. If the many sins of Mary Magdalene were forgiven because she loved greatly, many more have been forgiven me. What a great debt of love still remains for me to pay.â
Jesus, teach me to go to the point of madness and heroism. With the help of your grace, even if I have to die for you, Lord, I will never abandon you again.
This readiness to please God and atone to the point of heroism needs to be shown here and now, in small deeds of love. So our examination of conscience will normally yield very definite resolutions for the following day: to improve in one Norm, to conquer ourselves in a particularly difficult point of struggle, to express our affection for our brothers or sisters in such and such a way. To encourage ourselves to turn these resolutions into effective deeds, as our Father recommends, as soon as we get up the next day, we should try to remember our resolutions. Along with the morning offering, we place them in our Lordâs hands with a generous serviam - I will serve!
If we make a daily effort to fulfil these small resolutions, the time will come when we will not find it difficult to make them. For when there is really love for God, our Founder states, I would go so far as to say that we donât even need to make resolutions. My mother never had to make a resolution to treat me well, and you should have seen how affectionate she was to me!
Let us ask our Lady for light and grace to do our daily examination of conscience very well.