108. Wednesday of Holy Week

Meditations no. 154 (unofficial computer-aided translation)

Judas had received the same vocation as the other Apostles.

On this day, Wednesday of Holy Week, the Church has from its earliest days remembered Judas’ betrayal. Then one of the twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What will you give me if I deliver him to you?” And they paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray him.

How far off now, in the soul of this Apostle who was preparing to hand Jesus over to his enemies, are those first encounters with the one he had considered to be the Messiah! For Judas Iscariot had also been chosen personally by Christ, with a divine vocation. My child, our Father invites us to consider, you see the Apostles close to Christ: John, an adolescent who comes to give himself with all the strength of a clean life, and those other men who come from afar; they were men who, when they saw the gleam in our Lord’s eyes, on the shores of the lake or at the tax booth, when they heard his words, veni, sequere me (come, follow me), left everything in order to follow him for ever.

One left his boat and nets; another left the money he was handling; another, his parents; another, his children… And with Christ there is also one apostle, with his own special calling, named Judas, who is not worthy to be called an apostle. Doesn’t it make you happy, my child, to contemplate these scenes from the Holy Gospel?…

My soul is thrilled when I see that we can all approach Christ with confidence and walk by his side, trailing our shortcomings along; we feel safe at his side, sure of his goodness and his help. Underlying this passage of Scripture is a calling, a light, a force … The same calling as you and I have felt!

But Judas did not want to be faithful to his vocation. He could have been as happy as the others, close to Christ; he could have been one of the pillars of the Church, but instead he chose to sell the one who had given him everything, for the price of a slave: thirty silver pieces.

The tragic ending takes place at the Last Supper, when Jesus is overcome with anguish at his imminent Passion and at the heart-breaking abandonment on the part of his loved ones. And as they were eating, he said, “Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The other eleven Apostles, conscious of their own inadequacies and never doubting Christ’s words, exclaim with surprise: “Is it I, Lord?” He answered, “He who has dipped his hand in the dish with me, will betray me. The Son of man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.” Judas, who betrayed him, said, “Is it I, Master?” He said to him, “You have said so.”

When Judas left the Cenacle it was already night. But the darkness was above all in his soul. And so it was that Judas, who could have remained in the memory of Christians to the end of time as an apostle who spread the seed of the Gospel throughout the whole world, has become instead a by-word for a traitor, a soul filled with greed, capable of selling the dearest and most valuable treasure for a handful of coins.

Judas’ betrayal was the result of concessions in small things, especially attachment to money.

The betrayal of Jesus by Judas was not, however, the madness of a moment, but rather the result of a succession of infidelities. St John has told us of a significant episode: Judas’ criticism of the extravagance of Mary of Bethany, a few days before the Passover, when she took a pound of costly ointment of pure nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. What a shining proof of magnanimity is this extravagance on Mary’s part! Judas, on the other hand, laments this waste of so valuable a perfume; in his greed he had been calculating the price: it would have fetched at least three hundred silver pieces. He criticized Mary’s behaviour indirectly, with an excuse that made it look as though he cared about others: wouldn’t it have been better to sell the perfume and give alms to the poor? But the Holy Spirit inspired St John to note: This he said, not that he cared for the poor but because he was a thief, and as he had the money box he used to take what was put into it.

At the root of infidelity it is not uncommon to find badly-lived poverty, and an inordinate fondness for the goods of this world. When people give themselves to God and later turn bad, they do what Satan made Judas do: hide their money, act against poverty. He hid it just like those unpleasant birds who hoard shiny objects. What did he want it for? For his wretched deeds, for his infidelities, to offend God. My children, the virtue of poverty is a key one for us.

There are many snares that the enemy can place in the way of our fidelity. So what is asked of us is a humble attitude of constant vigilance. Our vocation gives us an infinite sense of security, but we can’t let it make us reckless. If anything is not in accordance with the spirit of God, leave it immediately. Think of the Apostles. They were no use, yet they did miracles in the Lord’s name. Only Judas, who may also have done miracles, strayed from Christ He went away deliberately, because he did not want to lay aside everything that was not in accordance with the spirit of God.

I will always say the same thing to you, tirelessly: to be faithful, be sincere. To be faithful, be very humble and never let yourselves be overcome by fear of the Directors. They are there to help you; as when, with a father’s hand, strong but sure and full of affection, they prevent us from going down the wrong path.

Fostering hope; our Lord is always ready to forgive.

Our Lord did not want Judas to be lost. Even as he was being seized by the soldiers he tried to make him rethink, calling him “friend” and accepting his kiss. And if even at the foot of the Cross Judas had said he was sorry, Christ would have forgiven him, as he forgave the repentant thief. But Judas, piling sin upon sin, abandoned himself to despair.

When Judas, his betrayer, saw that Christ was condemned, he repented and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, “I have sinned in betraying innocent blood.” They said, “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” And throwing down the pieces of silver in the temple, he departed; and he went and hanged himself.

Peter too, on that sad night of betrayals and shameful behaviour, denied our Lord three times. Peter cried tears of love over his sins; Judas, on the other hand, despaired. The difference between Peter’s repentance and Judas’ remorse is that Peter kept his hope firm, while Judas lost his, not trusting in God’s merciful judgement.

Commenting on this Gospel passage, our Father said: Only through Love, with a capital L, can we behave well, with God’s grace. Then, what happiness and what peace! We are happier than anyone, and afterwards Love awaits us. Therefore we have to cultivate the virtue of hope. When something very foolish comes to your head, think: in heaven, Love is awaiting me - Love which will never grow dull, will never end, will never be lost; it will never tire us, nor ever grow old.

It is not faint-heartedness to think this way. On the contrary, the virtue of hope is something we need to have. I have been repeating a consideration these days to your brothers in the General Council, and now I want to say the same thing to you: how great the virtue of hope is! Judas recognized Christ’s holiness, and felt remorse at the crime he had committed, so much so that he took the money which was the price of his betrayal and threw it back to those who had given it to him as a reward for handing Jesus over. But… he failed to have hope, which is the virtue necessary for returning to God. If he had kept his hope he could still have been a great apostle. Anyway, we don’t know what happened in the heart of that man, whether he responded to God’s grace at the last moment. Only God knows what happened in that heart at the very last moment

So don’t ever lose trust, don’t ever despair, even though you may have done the stupidest thing. You only need to speak, to repent, to let yourself be led by the hand, and everything will be sorted out.

That is the lesson that we can and should take from our prayer today: however great our offences may be, God’s mercy is greater still. Everything has a solution if we turn contritely to our Lord in the sacrament of Penance and open our heart totally in the fraternal chat, so that we can be cured.

Holy Mary, Spes nostra, our Hope, will help us never to lose hope, and always to begin again whenever it is necessary.