41. Triduum of the Holy Family (II)

Meditations no. 36 (unofficial computer-aided translation)

Loving our parents.

Love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony, of its very nature unites the lover with the beloved. Love for Christ has made us all into one family, the Work, which also includes our parents and our brothers and sisters. The charity of Christ which brought us to Opus Dei does not separate us from our families; rather, it unites us to them more closely.

Since we are now fully engaged in serving God, it is true that we often have to be physically distant from our parents - as happens with children who marry and start a family. But despite that physical separation, we love our parents more intensely and more tenderly. If, beforehand, we loved them with human affection, now we also love them supernaturally, with the charity infused in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. Our love is now stronger and more refined.

Your love for your parents is purified, increased and perfected, since the only thing between you and them is God. In contrast, those who have married and formed a home have a spouse and children, and this fact - it is the law of nature - separates them in one way or another from their parents.

We can never feel spiritually distant from our parents. Nor can we ever be indifferent to their sorrows and joys. We are always bound by the fourth commandment of the Decalogue: Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you. Moreover, in coming to the Work we undertook to take special care to practise all the virtues, including that of piety. For after God, it is to our parents that we owe most. St Thomas says that as it is for the virtue of religion to pay homage to God, so on the next level it is up to piety to render its own kind of homage to parents. This most sweet obligation is easy to fulfil, and is one we wish never to neglect.

Duties of filial piety.

Little children, let us not love in word or speech, but in deed and in truth. Love is shown by deeds, and in particular by constantly seeking the greatest possible good for those we love. And what greater good is there than a virtuous and holy Christian life? If we truly love our parents with supernatural affection, with Christ’s charity, we will do all we can to help them become saints, bringing them close to the Work, which means bringing them closer to God.

It is only right that our parents, who have always been concerned for our good, should share in our happiness. They should be proud to have been responsible for a good part of that happiness. We owe ninety per cent of our vocation to our parents, our Father used to say. They were often the ones who sowed the seed of faith and piety in our life. Moreover, we will always be indebted to them for our human existence and for the education and upbringing they gave us.

With all your heart honour your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born, says Scripture, and what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you? Out of gratitude we should try to respond to their generosity. This is what we have been taught in the Work from the very start. We learned to keep an important place in our lives for our parents and to love them even more than before. With a bit of holy ingenuity, you can make them very happy and get them to love the Work, while you at the same time continue to enjoy complete freedom to serve God.

They have a right to be the first to receive Opus Dei’s spirit through our apostolic efforts. They have a right to share in our treasure and our joy.

What have we done so far to fulfil this duty? Have we helped them to love the Father and to get acquainted with others in the Work who can help them feel part of this one family of ours? Do we show them tender affection, attention and gratitude? Above all, do we pray and mortify ourselves for them? We would not be carrying out the demands of our vocation well if we were neglecting our family. How could we please God, if we were to neglect the souls of those who have loved us so much on earth and contributed so much to our vocation, even if at times they weren’t very aware of it?

Bringing our parents closer to the Work.

What a great cause for joy it is to see our parents very close to the Work, and perhaps cooperating in its apostolates! Our family duties, when we harmonize them with the requirements of our vocation, acquire new meaning. They become a means of sanctity, and God turns our human affection into something that is supernaturally effective.

Our personal commitment to God’s service brings happiness, love and joy. Thus our parents come to love our vocation with human affection as well. When they realize what it is that makes their children happy, they become “fanatics”, with a pleasant sort of “fanaticism”, which according to our Father would set silver bells ringing in heaven.

We thank God for the immense consolation of seeing our parents happy at our vocation and enthusiastic about the Work. The words of Scripture are fulfilled: The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad. Reading these words, we realize once again how our struggle for sanctity has an impact at every level. We also see that troubles sometimes arise because we lack supernatural outlook.

If, in some cases, we have not yet reached our goal of making our parents happy with us, let us offer it up to God. And let us make a greater effort to win them over, by prayer, mortification, and a lot of affection; remembering that personal holiness and supernatural outlook are the most effective seeds we can sow.

Our Mother Mary, who is so close to Jesus through bonds of blood and above all through ties of divine love, will obtain this grace for us. Our families will come to love the Work as we do, and they will help out in our apostolates. Let us also ask the holy Patriarch Joseph, our Father and Lord, to protect our families and lead them to their heavenly home. O Lord … blessed are those who dwell in your house, ever singing your praise.